Hezekiah's Tunnel & Wall - Day 3

One of the main destinations the group was looking forward to doing this day was venturing into Hezekiah's tunnel. (Unfortunately I failed to bring my back up battery, thus have no personal pictures :( The tunnel was one of the first exciting adventures we made on our trip.

Inside Hezekiah's Tunnel

2 Kings 20:20/ 2 Chronicles 32:30
We entered the tunnel single file. The tunnel was only wide enough for one person to walk. As we stepped into the tunnel the water was pretty cold and went to about my knees. As we begin walking the temperature became more comfortable and the depth of the water subsided. The height of the tunnel changed drastically. Some areas we had to crouch and other times the top was a few feet above our heads. Fortunately there was no one close behind me, so I was able to walk at my own pace and take in what I saw. Albeit we were in the tunnel for about 20 minutes, so there was a lot of time to experience it. It was pretty dark as well but most of us had flashlights in addition to cameras. I videotaped the whole walk with someone's flip video camera. They had warned us that if were claustrophobic we may not enjoy the tunnel and there were some people in our group who were claustrophobic and were anxious to get out right away. I am a bit that way too, but I wasn't stationary and alone in a dark small space so I was alright.
A few facts about Hezekiah's Tunnel: It is 1750 ft long, considered a great example of water engineering for its time. Was constructed by one group starting at one end and another group at the other end finding their way to the middle. Thus that is why it is not perfectly straight and the width and height are sometimes drastic.

Display showing water level in Hezekiah's Tunnel

The tunnel is located in the City of David. The City of David is considered the oldest continuously inhabited neighborhood of Jerusalem in the world. The city is south of the Temple Mt on the Eastern Hill. http://www.cityofdavid.org.il/hp_eng.asp

City of David

After the tunnel we came out to the Pool of Siloam. A 1st century pool. It is associated with John 9: 6... Jesus says to the blind man, "go wash in the Pool of Siloam." The actual portion of the pool is now protected by a garden on the property of an Eastern Orthodox Church. No excavation has been done there.  What we are able to see was the steps leading down into the pool. 

That day we also visited excavations in the city of David. (Meaning nothing to anyone who reads this except those who were there, we saw the lg. stone structure and stepped stone structure.) In Jeremiah 11:13 it speaks to the idea that there was a prevalence of idol worshipping among the people. There is an abundance of archeological evidence that proves this; many fertility gods were found here. In this time there was a high infidelity rate among the men. We also visited a "wall" known as the Broad Wall or  Hezekiah's Wall. The discovery of the wall by a man named Avigard actually proved to archeologists, historians and theologians that Jerusalem was in fact the kind of remarkable city is described as being in the Bible. Avigard interestingly enough was persuaded by his own discovery to discard previous theories about the description of Jerusalem in the Bible and take on a new perception of Jerusalem as a great city. See: Isaiah 22:10; Nehemiah 3:8; 2 Chronicles 32:2-5 

Class Time! God's amazing design even over the weather pattern, geography and geology helped secure water for Jerusalem which was amidst dry land. We learned about the Eocene, Senonian and Cenomanian strata deposits. These layers or deposits are highly influenced by the rain shadow that is present in the east. The storms from the Mediterranean come from the west and the presence of the Mt. of Olives and Watershed Ridge allow for rain to continue in Jerusalem. The rain shadow thus appears on the eastern side of the hills.  

Getting Ready to enter the Tunnel

Between a Canon and a Holy Place

June 14^th was our 2^nd day studying in Jerusalem. I don’t want to lose you at the word “class” but I’ll take the risk for just a second. When learning about Biblical geography it is important to understand that it played a role in many aspects of life in the region. (like any geographical setting does) For example, the vast exploration, West of the Mississippi, can be argued as, playing a vital role in expanding the power of the US. Therefore, the geology and geography would have had a role in shaping civilization in the region of Israel. It defined roads, strategic battle plans and basic living methods. We discussed the life of a Shepherd and a Farmer; learning different lifestyles each possessed and how the geographical settings affected their roles in the land.  

Prior to venturing out into the Old City again for another field study we were given a few short passages from the Bible: Psalms 122, Isaiah 9:6,7 and Isaiah 2:2.

My gracious brother allowed me to bring his very expensive cannon camera on my 3-week adventure to Israel. With no experience using a camera like this (other than my $100 7mp cannon - I hardly use) I was anxious to teach myself how to use his; learning all the funky little functions and settings ect. As I began to play around with it I quickly felt the power of taking pictures. And -- I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the "massive" camera over the more compact one that I owned. I always thought the smaller cameras were better…I had been wrong.

It was fun to look through the viewfinder of the camera and snap the picture. Used to seeing my "shot" on a screen, I now had a more accurate idea of what I was snapping a photo at. So, this time I was constantly placing my eyes between the camera’s viewfinder and shooting at my target. I soon found myself "special" targets, which happened to be at a number of “Holy Places”.

I became attached to my cannon due to the fact that I was a novice at capturing these "Holy Places" artistically and logically. It was fun and engaging to experience the places we went, behind the cannon; using different angles, lighting and camera settings. It was as if I could not experience where I was at or take in what I had seen without looking through the viewfinder. I found myself desiring a logical shot of the site as well as an aesthetically pleasing one for the eye. I wrestled with spending the short amount of time; snapping photos or reflecting on where I was at. Sometimes the I chose the Cannon and other times I chose to reflect. 

My expectation of how I would feel when I was at these “Holy Places”, was not what I experienced. Prior to coming I expected to be mesmerized and in awe, but in a way it was anti-climactic. I hate to say this because in no way do I regret visiting these places, but the feelings of expectations and desire to visit, when I saw them in a picture at home was not what I experienced when I arrived. I soon realized I didn't have any spiritual feelings or life changing epiphanies. Attached to this lack of revere was the fact that churches had been built over many of the Holy places and it distracted me from focusing on God and His son's possible presence at my very location.

Spiritual feelings aside, I was fascinated by what was inside of these Churches. The architecture, art and history captured my attention. The fact I had the power of a Cannon to replay the memory of being there begged me that much more, to place myself behind the lens, which stood between me and the "Holy Place". Thus the inner struggle of remembering where I was at, but also wanting to snap a “pretty” picture reminded me of church history, when we discussed the iconoclast controversy. A debate in the church that has had lasting ramifications; the argument of whether or not images in the church should be allowed. The argument for those who desired images was that it brought glory and attention to God in the Church. Whereas, iconoclasts rejected images within the church. They argued, images served as another form of idol worship. Where before I might have said, let the men keep their pictures, I have a better understanding of how art could have jeopardized others ability to worship and focus on God. 

I concluded that it was okay not to have the feelings I was expecting at these sites. God was not judging me based on how I felt at a place on a map or a site dedicated to Him. While I Love Israel and Enjoyed every second at those “Holy Places”; I realized I have experienced God more fully, in the young nation of America. A place where no “Holy place” exists, but God’s creation does. A reminder to myself; a ‘bursted bubble’ for some-- you can experience the Love and Joy of knowing the Lord anywhere on Earth. While being at those “Holy Places” intrigued me as a history student, it did nothing for me spiritually. Of course that is my personal experience. I am not here to say you cannot or should not feel something if you visit. But I think it's okay if you don’t. 

Near the roof of the Upper Room

Our second field day was in Jerusalem where we began on the roof of the Holy Mother of Zion church. This is a location argued by many where the Last Supper may have occurred, as well, where the first century church had it’s beginnings and possibly the location of the Jerusalem Council. We also visited David’s Archeological Park. This area is on the excavations surrounding part of the temple. We ended up at the temple steps of the Southern Wall. Most likely where Jesus would have taught. John 7

View of the Temple Steps at the Southern Wall, after visiting David's Archeological Park

We finished up at St. Anne's Cathedral and the Pool of Bethesda. As a class we entered the church and were able to experience the impressive acoustics. Aubrey invited Faith, up to sing, so we could experience the sound. Then Aurbey sang a hymm and we were then led by Dr. Beyer to sing Amazing Grace. Singing Amazin Grace as a group in this church was something that awed me. I love hearing people worship God, and reflecting upon the Grace of God as a group in this Church was a great experience- So thanks Dr. Beyer for suggesting that!

Inside St. Anne's Cathedral: Aubrey lifting up her voice to God

War and Peace: Experiencing Jerusalem's Past and Present

Our first full day in Israel had arrived. Preparing, planning and packing were over. We were all ready to apply our pre-course work in the field and experience Israel. Our day was broken up between time in the classroom and time in the field. In class we met our instructor Aubrey. Aubrey ended up being an amazing instructor. Interestingly enough she was a music major turned scholar. Her passion for historical geography ignited the class and made it intriguing. She packed us with information and I loved it. We were informed that we would be graded on our 2 tests, 1 final, mapwork (completed before traveling) and impression reports. We were required to write up a 1-page impression report that detailed each days adventures, what we experienced, learned and our reflections of it all. So I added excerpts from my first impression report. They are italicized below.

The first field experience was spent touring the Old City. We visited the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Dormition Abbey, the Zion Gate and saw our first glimpse of the Western Wall. Some may not be surprised however that I began my first impression report by noting the food. For dinner tonight I was pleasantly surprised with chicken stuffed pita. The chicken was marinated in some kind of peanut sauce. We were served roasted tomatoes shish kabobs. There was a bowl of mushrooms, fresh green salad with bright red peppers and juicy cucumbers. In addition corn, pickles and olives. The food they serve is full of vegetables and fruits and very enjoyable!

Today we began our journey in Jerusalem and then were given a tour of the college grounds. … the scenery and views are amazing. From one section of the building the Hinnom Valley separates us from the more modern part of Jerusalem, including the notable King David Hotel, which is located on the Watershed Ridge. In the back of the college is a nicely landscaped area with great views of Jerusalem. In a few months the pomegranate, lemon, oranges, olive trees will ripen. The college is the only Protestant academic college in Jerusalem, therefore not as well known as perhaps Hebrew University. In Jerusalem, the Protestants are the minority.  We are about a 3 minute walk from Jaffa Gate. Within the old city there are four quarters: Jewish, Christian, Armenian and Muslim. However, these people are not bound by these quarters. 

View from the rooftop of JUC
Hinnom Valley below and the King David Hotel building in the middle of picture

An interesting story about the history of the premise of the college: Following the 6-day War in 1967, the grounds were acquired after serving as the front of battle between the Jordanians and Israeli soldiers as well as being consistently occupied by soldiers since the Independence War in 1948. The buildings that comprise the school were in reality the property of the Armenian Church. JUC began their lease on the property in 1967 and a few weeks ago secured an additional 25-year lease. Due to the location of this place the Israelis had a difficult time receiving supplies and armaments to the premise, so they constructed a cable care that is still attached to the side of the building and went across the valley to the Mt. Zion Hotel - I believe it is called. We saw the cable and its extensions to the car at the other side of the valley. Apparently that story is very well known in Jewish history and schools. The man who toured us around the school said that it is similar to Paul Rever's ride to various cities in the colonies warning that the British were coming. There is also a cemetery close to the grounds, which can only be accessed through JUC. The cemetery is dedicated to Protestants who were coming to Jerusalem in the middle of the 19th century and were dying for various reasons. Because there were no protestant connections in Jerusalem and each religious community is very tight-nit and private there was no place these bodies were being buried. A fund therefore was taken up and sponsored by various parties to build the cemetery. One notable figure buried in the cemetery is the man who wrote the hymn "It is Well with My Soul" his name was Horatio Spafford. 

We walked a ton today in the "old city" of Jerusalem and Aubrey stopped often to lecture. Probably the most memorable, intriguing and exciting thing we experienced today was visiting the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. This is the supposed site of Jesus` crucifixion as well as his buriel. Aubrey stated that the church had not been well preserved or kept up, however I didn’t feel that way when I walked inside. The architecture fascinated me and there was paintings that adorned some of the walls. There are various chapels inside.

Outside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre

Inside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre

It seems very peaceful right now and it has been for a while. We were told that Jerusalem is the New York of news and media. Thus if a boy throws a rock - it makes headlines. While thousands are murdered in the US and coverage shown to each of those incidents pales in comparison to some of the events the media chooses to highlight in Jerusalem. He jokingly said they "have to prove their existence in Jerusalem somehow". In fact the relative peacefulness that drapes over the land is going to allow us to visit Samaria in the West Bank. This somewhat surprised me. I was confident I was going to a safe region in Israel, but have witnessed Jews, Arabs (cannot for sure say they are all Muslims) and other religious people interacting, walking, driving and living together in relative peace - granted I have been here less than 2 days. 

The Zion Gate: riddled with bullet holes that were made during Israel's War of Independence in 1948.

Dormition Abbey

The 7575 Mile Journey: LA to Jerusalem

We arrived at LAX Sunday morning June 12th. Dr. Painter led our group which consisted of 16 students and 4 adults.^. All of us were ready to be in Israel at that moment -- a mere 7,575 miles separated us from our 3-week excursion in the land where Jesus walked. We exited the baggage claim and carried our luggage to the international terminal at LAX. Our adventure began interestingly at the check-in line of El Al airlines.

I had been aware prior to coming that El Al was going to make sure their flights were secure. Thus, it meant everyone flying on the plane was a security risk until cleared. We walked into the International Terminal and all 22 of us lined up (kind of) to check in our bags. El Al security measures included an obvious armed Israeli soldier at the back of the lines for the El Al ticket counter. After a while of standing and waiting one of the El Al security personnel began to talk with Dr. Painter. He explained that we were all part of a group traveling to study in Israel for three weeks. The interrogation did not end there. By the time we had checked in our bags we had all been "interrogated" separately with questions including; “what is your name, where are you from, what school do you go to, why are you traveling to Israel.” Some were questioned more heavily and taken into another room. One girl had her inhaler taken away. Leilani was asked where her mother and father were from and the origin of her last name. 

El Al airline at LAX

After security we realized there was not many food options. I was pretty disappointed there was no Starbucks. A small café was all we had to choose from. We ended up at the gate and were greeted by a large group of 100 or more Jews many of whom were students. I asked one of them what exactly they were traveling to Israel for. She explained that it was a “birthright” trip. I had heard about this a little bit last year when I was researching traveling to Israel. I ended up sitting by one of the leaders of the birthright trip on the plane. He explained that Jewish kids have the opportunity to travel to Israel for 10 days if they choose. They learn and explore their roots and...it is free! I thought that was a pretty neat opportunity for them. However, I was excited that I had 3-weeks in Israel not 10 days. 

We departed LA at 1:30 pm for a 14.5-hour flight to Tel Aviv. Dr. Painter had expressed that El Al airlines were very nice and the 'way to go' when traveling to Israel. I have to say I agree with him. I was fortunate to have an aisle seat on the long flight. Leilani and I managed to sit next to each other. Let me tell you that the aisle seat was awesome, cause when I came home I was stuck in the middle of the middle aisle where a large fat Orthodox Jew occupied the seat to my left -- for 11 hours! We all had personal TV screens and were privy to a large selection of movies and TV shows. I did manage to sleep on the plane... a plus! Food was not bad either. The time on the plane, while long, actually flew by faster than expected. I am happy to say not one time on the flight was I nervous (that is pretty big deal for me :) 

We arrived in Tel Aviv around 2:00pm Israel time. Israel is 10 hours ahead, so it would have been 4:00am Pacific time. We ARRIVED! And We were ALIVE! 

Leilani and I in Israel!

After going through customs and getting our luggage we caught a Sherut (taxi) from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem where Jerusalem University College was located. I had no idea what to expect, and I was trying to keep expectations low for our accommodations at the school. One fear I had was seeing spiders. If I didn’t see any then and room would be fine with me.

We arrived at Jerusalem University College 45 minutes later. The school is located on the present Mt. Zion in Jerusalem. It sits across the Watershed Ridge with the Hinnom Valley below. We are very close to Jaffa Gate and steps away from Dormition Abbey. After becoming aquainted with the area I was that the college actually sat in an amazing part of Jerusalem. I felt very blessed to be where I was at. My first impression however, of the school, was low. The sign does not reflect the character and beauty of the University. Thus I was pleasantly surprised by our accommodations. (better pictures coming in later blogs).

The entrance to Jerusalem University College: does not serve this place justice

Our room: we had a great view of the Hinnom Valley and had direct access to the large rooftop + no spiders!!

I ended up rooming with Leilani and Jackie, both Simpson students. I had met Leilani in Dr. Painter's class my last semester and we got to know each other by constantly talking about the trip to Israel in his class. l I had the chance to meet Jackie and get to know her while in Israel. I feel very blessed to have spent three weeks with these girls. 'Girls' have their moments, and I am sure I was not a great room-mate 100% of the time, but for the most part we all got along perfectly and enjoyed the much of the trip together.

Our adventure in Jerusalem began the first night by our own accord. Dr. Painter led a few of us out into the Old City. We were introduced to Shaban, an Arab Christian who owns a shop in the Christian Quarter of the Old City. Many universities in the US including JUC visit his shop because of his fair and low prices. We exchanged our dollars for New Israeli Shekels. The exchange rate was about 3.5 NIS to the dollar. And it is here we were introduced to a very good strawberry banana drink that is not sold in the US :(

Dr. Painter headed back to the college and the five of us checked out the Old City that night, establishing a tradition for the rest of our free nights in Jerusalem.

I was the photographer : our 1st evening walk in Old City Jerusalem

A Hurdle Before the Adventure

My hurdle: Flying! Last summer when I desired to go to Israel I remember thinking my life was a tad dull - "I just want to go on an adventure”. Well the time for that adventure came about on June 11^th when I departed Seattle for the San Francisco airport to begin my journey to Israel.

Prior to leaving, friends and family would ask me how excited I was to be going and all I could think about was... the llooooonnnggg flight to Israel. As much as I was excited and felt blessed to be going, a hurdle had presented itself. Flying. When I fly I sometimes come close to having heart attacks -- moments in life when I am dramatic :) I am usually pretty silent about my fear on the plane, but my body experiences it. I knew once I arrived in Israel I would be excited for the adventure ahead of me. But the only thoughts I had about the upcoming trip was the two flights to LAX and then the 14.5 hour flight to Israel.

As we took off from Seattle, some of my fear subsided strangely enough after a women directly behind me vomited. It was pretty disgusting, just because it came out much like a fluid sneeze literally flying and the contents came from her stomach... not her nose. Thankfully I missed it :) Unfortunately two other passengers did not. I suddenly felt proud that I was not scared enough to vomit, but I also knew I handle my fear differently. Interestingly enough, I became a little more relaxed on the plane. Possibly because there was someone else that was scared and as long as someone was scared for the plane then I could relax. (just a mind game...i suppose).

This newfound courage was shattered after spending almost an hour in the air, waiting for clearance to land in San Fran. Once we were cleared the turbulence that had been present while we were circling persisted until the second the plane landed. I truly felt that our wing was going to hit the ground and we were going to crash. I was also aware that when you land in San Fran the landing strip begins from the Bay. Thus, you are relying on a miracle and the skills of a pilot you have never met -- to land at the right time. Cause a second early and you could be drinking water. In the end - the plane ride was not a good beginning to my flying excursion. The "excursion" would persist tomorrow... we would catch a plane to LAX. Then from there connect with El Al airlines to Tel Aviv. SO... that’s pretty much all I thought about while trying to doze off that night in San Fran. 

San Francisco Airport 

SFO - our group at check in on our way to - LAX

Putting my fear of flying aside – I met Leilani, Liz and Faith at the Hilton hotel in San Francisco. It was nice to have a good night rest before we spent the whole day in planes. We decided to venture out into the city that afternoon. We began with an adventure on the BART,(Bay Area Rapid Transportation). We were dropped off close to the Cheesecake Factory in San Fran. Seattlelites: if you have experience on the Sound Transit, then here's an analogy for how fast I thought the BART went. Sound Transit = the speed of a kid riding a tricycle/ BART = speed of light ( little exaggeration, I am afforded one, once in a while). We walked around the area and enjoyed the high rise restaurant. Location, location, location...it was a fun and different experience. We sat outside and had a fun view of part of the city. I prefer the Fisherman’s Warf area of the city, but I always love the factory and it is near a Forever 21 :)



Bay Area Transportation BART



That night we tried to get some rest, but our wake up time was set for 3:30, so we could be at the airport at 5:30. Again, for the 2nd night I got about 3 hours of sleep.

I usually have a pretty great memory and even -- a photographic one :) I can remember what I did and where I was, with a pretty accurate memory. Yet, I cannot remember one thing from the time I woke up that morning to when we departed SFO and arrived at LAX. I do remember that I picked up my bag at LAX and thought that the plane ride had actually been great! I think that I am more fearful of flying alone than anything else. That feeling gave me a boost for the long journey ahead; due to the fact I was flying with a group of about 20 people. So knew I was ready for the Adventure to begin!

God’s Provision of a "want"

12 days have past since returning from my adventure in Israel. I noticed that other people from our JUC group have shared their experiences on a blog or Facebook. Other than posting a few hundred pictures online, I have shared very little about my experience. I thought I should write and reflect somewhat, before these thoughts pass away. I am beginning my new blog by sharing how I came to be able to say, "I am going to Israel!" 

Some know of my travels to Israel but few know my strong desire to go to the land and how it all came together. I’ll try not to be too dramatic, but it definitely was another story of God’s provision in my life. This time He provided for a “want” not just a need. Over the last few years my faith in the Lord's provision for my life has been tested; something I believed was strong. Each time I have gone through an unknown period of life, God has come through, despite my worry and doubt. This has allowed my trust in the Lord's will and protection for my life to grow stronger.

My desire to go to Israel began last summer (2010). Prior to that I had been intrigued by Israel, but the desire to travel to the Middle East was non-existent. -- Australia! --- If you asked me where I would travel if given the choice I would have said Australia.

My interest in the Middle East was sparked by a great professor (Claspill) at Simpson. He recommended the book, Son of Hamas. When I came home last summer I decided to read it. (Terrific book by the way – recommended it to 6 people and they have all read and enjoyed it.) After reading this book a new desire stirred within me to learn more about Muslims, the Middle East culture and Israel. I read a few more books and with that gained a new passion for the Middle East and their rich history. During this time I became interested in the idea of traveling to Israel and backpacking the land. I devoted my free time; reading travel websites, researching the land and places to see. I came up with a travel itinerary that included the expenses and all that fun stuff.  Some of the places that ended up on that list was; Qumran, the Mizpah Ramon Crater, the Dead Sea, hike some of the Israel National Trail, the Sea of Galilee, visit the Shrine of the Book where some fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls are housed, hike Masada at sunrise, Caesarea Aqueduct and Herod's Roman Theatre, the Mediterranean Sea, Tel Aviv and En Gedi springs.
My goal was to save, save, save and plan to travel there in 3 years; during which time I would share my passion for the region with friends and see if anyone gained an interest in backpacking it with me.

last year drafting my 'dream' trip to Israel
What I actually experienced hit this list (sans Eilat) and exceeded it

I was so excited about the possibility of traveling to Israel. Summer came to a close, I went back to school and decided I was going to write my senior history paper (25 pages) on events that shaped the birth of Israel as a nation. The paper was completed by December. By then my hope to travel to Israel was pushed aside. I still had a deep desire to go, but I concluded it was more probable that I would travel there when I was married and/or possessed a stable income. Fall semester one of my professor’s mentioned that a group of Simpson students were traveling to Israel on a study tour. At that time I didn't have the funds and the idea to travel in a small group and be independent of a tour group was cemented in my mind. I didn't want to feel tied down. I wanted freedom to explore independently. While my time down there was in part like this, the trip ended up being more influential and experiential then one I could have ever planned. Plus I was with a group of friends and other adults who wanted to be there as much as I did.

School began the 2^nd week in January and that week I began Hermeneutics with Professor Stinson and New Testament with Dr. Painter. I had not taken classes from either one of them and was enjoying their teaching and looked forward to learning in both of their classes. The first week of class professor Stinson mentioned the Israel trip that her and Dr. Painter were leading together.

For some unknown reason my interest at this perked. Up until then I had no desire to pursue the trip, but her 'shout out' prompted me to think about the possibility of traveling with them. At that point I began mulling over the small possibility that some how, some way... I could go. Finances would be the MAIN roadblock. At first, I was afraid to inquire about the trip. I knew once I saw the cost my dreams of going would be wiped away. 

I did a 180 degree turn in my thoughts about joining Simpson to Israel that week. I felt this sudden need and desire to pursue more information about the trip – so that is what I did. I ended up emailing Professor Stinson to  inform her I was interested in going. She equipped me with the all the necessary information. The whole time I prayed constantly, asking God to shut doors if this was not what he wanted me to pursue or finance. I prayed that He would take away my strong desire to go, so it would be easier to stop pursuing the trip due to finances.

I sat down one afternoon to look over the details of the trip online. I remember being excited and nervous at the same time. I scanned over the details of the trip and seeing the places we would go and things we would learn excited me further to pursue the trip. On the other hand, finding out the cost of the trip was not as exciting. Discovering the final cost should have been an immediete sign of a closed door for me. But I saw this door shutting slower than it should have.

There was no financial possibility I could go. Unless I recieved a anymous donation from someone who had no clue of my desire to go to Israel, won the lottery, my parents inherited an unexpected large amount of money or I...I just kept dreaming of ways I could make it work. And that week, while waiting for the door to stop closing and begin to open, I began to lose hope and had to bring myself back to reality. I couldn't afford it and that was that. But again, the trip kept nagging at me and I kept thinking about how to make it work.

I am pretty realistic in my expectations and desires. I pay close attention to the cost of things so I don’t pursue something I can’t actually engage in, due to finances. Uncharacteristic of myself, I continued to pursue the possibility of making the trip work. The first Friday of school I ended up making an appointment with the financial aid counselor. I wanted to see about the possibility of seeking an educational loan for the trip. It wasn’t something I necessarily wanted to do, but felt compelled to exhaust all my options. The information I gleaned did not give me much option except to seek a personal loan. That was not an option I favored but one I could pull out if I became 'desperate'. I knew I needed the blessing and support of my Dad before I continued to pursue the "ins and outs" of the trip. In order for him to "truly" listen to me and my dream of going to Israel, I drew up a financial plan that would make 'Israel' happen. Then I sent it to him.

I love my Dad. When it has come to financial decisions he has been wise council. When I wanted to take out a loan for a few thousand dollars to purchase a car he strongly advised against it. At the time I was frustrated with his lack of support. Nonetheless, looking back now I am so glad I listened to him. So when it came to this I knew what his response would be towards the cost of the trip --- And I was correct. He expressed his deep desire for me to go and was saddened that he didn’t have the finances himself to send me. The conversation did end with him saying, If there was a scholarship available that reduced the cost of the trip he could see my planning for a trip that was around $2500. I was disappointed…but I understood.

The time in which all this happened;  learning about the trip, seeking info, figuring out the expense, concluding I couldn't go and then what came next was all in 10 days. Those ten days were centered around me getting back into the school and the groove of work. In addition, strategizing how I to make the Israel trip a reality. I spent many car rides to school that week praying to God to clearly open doors or undoubtedly close them fast... so I didn't continue to waste more energy figuring out how to go. I had sought a financial aid counselor, considered and began to apply for a scholarship (which I didn't get), talked multiple times with professor Stinson about how to afford the trip, prayed and spoke about my desire with my parents. Nothing looked hopeful. PLUS I was made aware, that there were only 2 spots left with 3 people interested. SO I began to feel time was limited for the ultimate decision - could I financially pull it off or not? My conclusion was that I couldn't.

It was Thursday (first week of classes) when my drive to pursue Israel as a reality took off - but by Friday the next week, I had resolved that it was financially impossible. I was not mad at God; just disappointed... and confused. Why all of sudden had I become interested and driven to pursue the trip, a trip I had not been interested in a semester before? Monday, the 2nd week of school a family friend had messaged me and asked for my address in Cali. I thought she might be sending me a care package for school, which I thought was really sweet.

On Thursday she messaged me again to see if I had received it; afraid the letter might have been lost in the mail. So I checked Thursday and then was diligent to check the mail again Friday when I got home.
That Friday on my way home, I was thinking in my head, well maybe by some miracle they had decided to send me money. I thought if I was super lucky they may have sent me as much as $100. But I still didn't see any amount, enough to afford Israel. I tried to quiet my hopes of trying to make Israel work. Immediately when I got home I checked the mail to make sure the letter had arrived so I could let her know it hadn't been lost in the mail. It was in...the safety of the letter was secured. I dropped my keys off on the counter and took the card to my room. I opened the card and inside was a note. Longer than this, the idea of the letter was that they had prayed about their finances and felt called to bless me.

What I saw inside was my dreams of going to Israel coming alive again - --Inside I saw... Israel. A "want" of mine was slowly becoming a reality and if it happened it was not by anything I had done, but was solely the blessing of God and this faithful family.

I remember driving in my car the following night listening to worship music and had no other desire than to sit in my car forever worshipping God for providing one of the biggest “wants” of my life- at that time. I knew this feeling would pass as I reentered life and got back into the grind of school and work. I had already figured out, for the most part, how I would get to Israel. But at that moment I soaked in my love for the Lord and praised him.

I didn't have to go to Israel, but God had placed a desire within me and then allowed me to pursue that dream. He then made my dream...my hopes - a reality. I rarely cry, but the moment I received that gift I was brought to (many) humble tears. Thinking that I, an imperfect person, would be blessed immensely by God and not just in a way that provided for my needs but in a way that provided for my "want".