12 days have past since returning from my adventure in Israel. I noticed that other people from our JUC group have shared their experiences on a blog or Facebook. Other than posting a few hundred pictures online, I have shared very little about my experience. I thought I should write and reflect somewhat, before these thoughts pass away. I am beginning my new blog by sharing how I came to be able to say, "I am going to Israel!"
Some know of my travels to Israel but few know my strong desire to go to the land and how it all came together. I’ll try not to be too dramatic, but it definitely was another story of God’s provision in my life. This time He provided for a “want” not just a need. Over the last few years my faith in the Lord's provision for my life has been tested; something I believed was strong. Each time I have gone through an unknown period of life, God has come through, despite my worry and doubt. This has allowed my trust in the Lord's will and protection for my life to grow stronger.
My desire to go to Israel began last summer (2010). Prior to that I had been intrigued by Israel, but the desire to travel to the Middle East was non-existent. -- Australia! --- If you asked me where I would travel if given the choice I would have said Australia.
My interest in the Middle East was sparked by a great professor (Claspill) at Simpson. He recommended the book, Son of Hamas. When I came home last summer I decided to read it. (Terrific book by the way – recommended it to 6 people and they have all read and enjoyed it.) After reading this book a new desire stirred within me to learn more about Muslims, the Middle East culture and Israel. I read a few more books and with that gained a new passion for the Middle East and their rich history. During this time I became interested in the idea of traveling to Israel and backpacking the land. I devoted my free time; reading travel websites, researching the land and places to see. I came up with a travel itinerary that included the expenses and all that fun stuff. Some of the places that ended up on that list was; Qumran, the Mizpah Ramon Crater, the Dead Sea, hike some of the Israel National Trail, the Sea of Galilee, visit the Shrine of the Book where some fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls are housed, hike Masada at sunrise, Caesarea Aqueduct and Herod's Roman Theatre, the Mediterranean Sea, Tel Aviv and En Gedi springs.
My goal was to save, save, save and plan to travel there in 3 years; during which time I would share my passion for the region with friends and see if anyone gained an interest in backpacking it with me.
I was so excited about the possibility of traveling to Israel. Summer came to a close, I went back to school and decided I was going to write my senior history paper (25 pages) on events that shaped the birth of Israel as a nation. The paper was completed by December. By then my hope to travel to Israel was pushed aside. I still had a deep desire to go, but I concluded it was more probable that I would travel there when I was married and/or possessed a stable income. Fall semester one of my professor’s mentioned that a group of Simpson students were traveling to Israel on a study tour. At that time I didn't have the funds and the idea to travel in a small group and be independent of a tour group was cemented in my mind. I didn't want to feel tied down. I wanted freedom to explore independently. While my time down there was in part like this, the trip ended up being more influential and experiential then one I could have ever planned. Plus I was with a group of friends and other adults who wanted to be there as much as I did.
My interest in the Middle East was sparked by a great professor (Claspill) at Simpson. He recommended the book, Son of Hamas. When I came home last summer I decided to read it. (Terrific book by the way – recommended it to 6 people and they have all read and enjoyed it.) After reading this book a new desire stirred within me to learn more about Muslims, the Middle East culture and Israel. I read a few more books and with that gained a new passion for the Middle East and their rich history. During this time I became interested in the idea of traveling to Israel and backpacking the land. I devoted my free time; reading travel websites, researching the land and places to see. I came up with a travel itinerary that included the expenses and all that fun stuff. Some of the places that ended up on that list was; Qumran, the Mizpah Ramon Crater, the Dead Sea, hike some of the Israel National Trail, the Sea of Galilee, visit the Shrine of the Book where some fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls are housed, hike Masada at sunrise, Caesarea Aqueduct and Herod's Roman Theatre, the Mediterranean Sea, Tel Aviv and En Gedi springs.
My goal was to save, save, save and plan to travel there in 3 years; during which time I would share my passion for the region with friends and see if anyone gained an interest in backpacking it with me.
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| last year drafting my 'dream' trip to Israel What I actually experienced hit this list (sans Eilat) and exceeded it |
School began the 2nd week in January and that week I began Hermeneutics with Professor Stinson and New Testament with Dr. Painter. I had not taken classes from either one of them and was enjoying their teaching and looked forward to learning in both of their classes. The first week of class professor Stinson mentioned the Israel trip that her and Dr. Painter were leading together.
For some unknown reason my interest at this perked. Up until then I had no desire to pursue the trip, but her 'shout out' prompted me to think about the possibility of traveling with them. At that point I began mulling over the small possibility that some how, some way... I could go. Finances would be the MAIN roadblock. At first, I was afraid to inquire about the trip. I knew once I saw the cost my dreams of going would be wiped away.
I did a 180 degree turn in my thoughts about joining Simpson to Israel that week. I felt this sudden need and desire to pursue more information about the trip – so that is what I did. I ended up emailing Professor Stinson to inform her I was interested in going. She equipped me with the all the necessary information. The whole time I prayed constantly, asking God to shut doors if this was not what he wanted me to pursue or finance. I prayed that He would take away my strong desire to go, so it would be easier to stop pursuing the trip due to finances.
I sat down one afternoon to look over the details of the trip online. I remember being excited and nervous at the same time. I scanned over the details of the trip and seeing the places we would go and things we would learn excited me further to pursue the trip. On the other hand, finding out the cost of the trip was not as exciting. Discovering the final cost should have been an immediete sign of a closed door for me. But I saw this door shutting slower than it should have.
There was no financial possibility I could go. Unless I recieved a anymous donation from someone who had no clue of my desire to go to Israel, won the lottery, my parents inherited an unexpected large amount of money or I...I just kept dreaming of ways I could make it work. And that week, while waiting for the door to stop closing and begin to open, I began to lose hope and had to bring myself back to reality. I couldn't afford it and that was that. But again, the trip kept nagging at me and I kept thinking about how to make it work.
I am pretty realistic in my expectations and desires. I pay close attention to the cost of things so I don’t pursue something I can’t actually engage in, due to finances. Uncharacteristic of myself, I continued to pursue the possibility of making the trip work. The first Friday of school I ended up making an appointment with the financial aid counselor. I wanted to see about the possibility of seeking an educational loan for the trip. It wasn’t something I necessarily wanted to do, but felt compelled to exhaust all my options. The information I gleaned did not give me much option except to seek a personal loan. That was not an option I favored but one I could pull out if I became 'desperate'. I knew I needed the blessing and support of my Dad before I continued to pursue the "ins and outs" of the trip. In order for him to "truly" listen to me and my dream of going to Israel, I drew up a financial plan that would make 'Israel' happen. Then I sent it to him.
There was no financial possibility I could go. Unless I recieved a anymous donation from someone who had no clue of my desire to go to Israel, won the lottery, my parents inherited an unexpected large amount of money or I...I just kept dreaming of ways I could make it work. And that week, while waiting for the door to stop closing and begin to open, I began to lose hope and had to bring myself back to reality. I couldn't afford it and that was that. But again, the trip kept nagging at me and I kept thinking about how to make it work.
I am pretty realistic in my expectations and desires. I pay close attention to the cost of things so I don’t pursue something I can’t actually engage in, due to finances. Uncharacteristic of myself, I continued to pursue the possibility of making the trip work. The first Friday of school I ended up making an appointment with the financial aid counselor. I wanted to see about the possibility of seeking an educational loan for the trip. It wasn’t something I necessarily wanted to do, but felt compelled to exhaust all my options. The information I gleaned did not give me much option except to seek a personal loan. That was not an option I favored but one I could pull out if I became 'desperate'. I knew I needed the blessing and support of my Dad before I continued to pursue the "ins and outs" of the trip. In order for him to "truly" listen to me and my dream of going to Israel, I drew up a financial plan that would make 'Israel' happen. Then I sent it to him.
I love my Dad. When it has come to financial decisions he has been wise council. When I wanted to take out a loan for a few thousand dollars to purchase a car he strongly advised against it. At the time I was frustrated with his lack of support. Nonetheless, looking back now I am so glad I listened to him. So when it came to this I knew what his response would be towards the cost of the trip --- And I was correct. He expressed his deep desire for me to go and was saddened that he didn’t have the finances himself to send me. The conversation did end with him saying, If there was a scholarship available that reduced the cost of the trip he could see my planning for a trip that was around $2500. I was disappointed…but I understood.
The time in which all this happened; learning about the trip, seeking info, figuring out the expense, concluding I couldn't go and then what came next was all in 10 days. Those ten days were centered around me getting back into the school and the groove of work. In addition, strategizing how I to make the Israel trip a reality. I spent many car rides to school that week praying to God to clearly open doors or undoubtedly close them fast... so I didn't continue to waste more energy figuring out how to go. I had sought a financial aid counselor, considered and began to apply for a scholarship (which I didn't get), talked multiple times with professor Stinson about how to afford the trip, prayed and spoke about my desire with my parents. Nothing looked hopeful. PLUS I was made aware, that there were only 2 spots left with 3 people interested. SO I began to feel time was limited for the ultimate decision - could I financially pull it off or not? My conclusion was that I couldn't.
It was Thursday (first week of classes) when my drive to pursue Israel as a reality took off - but by Friday the next week, I had resolved that it was financially impossible. I was not mad at God; just disappointed... and confused. Why all of sudden had I become interested and driven to pursue the trip, a trip I had not been interested in a semester before? Monday, the 2nd week of school a family friend had messaged me and asked for my address in Cali. I thought she might be sending me a care package for school, which I thought was really sweet.
On Thursday she messaged me again to see if I had received it; afraid the letter might have been lost in the mail. So I checked Thursday and then was diligent to check the mail again Friday when I got home.
That Friday on my way home, I was thinking in my head, well maybe by some miracle they had decided to send me money. I thought if I was super lucky they may have sent me as much as $100. But I still didn't see any amount, enough to afford Israel. I tried to quiet my hopes of trying to make Israel work. Immediately when I got home I checked the mail to make sure the letter had arrived so I could let her know it hadn't been lost in the mail. It was in...the safety of the letter was secured. I dropped my keys off on the counter and took the card to my room. I opened the card and inside was a note. Longer than this, the idea of the letter was that they had prayed about their finances and felt called to bless me.
What I saw inside was my dreams of going to Israel coming alive again - --Inside I saw... Israel. A "want" of mine was slowly becoming a reality and if it happened it was not by anything I had done, but was solely the blessing of God and this faithful family.
I remember driving in my car the following night listening to worship music and had no other desire than to sit in my car forever worshipping God for providing one of the biggest “wants” of my life- at that time. I knew this feeling would pass as I reentered life and got back into the grind of school and work. I had already figured out, for the most part, how I would get to Israel. But at that moment I soaked in my love for the Lord and praised him.
It was Thursday (first week of classes) when my drive to pursue Israel as a reality took off - but by Friday the next week, I had resolved that it was financially impossible. I was not mad at God; just disappointed... and confused. Why all of sudden had I become interested and driven to pursue the trip, a trip I had not been interested in a semester before? Monday, the 2nd week of school a family friend had messaged me and asked for my address in Cali. I thought she might be sending me a care package for school, which I thought was really sweet.
On Thursday she messaged me again to see if I had received it; afraid the letter might have been lost in the mail. So I checked Thursday and then was diligent to check the mail again Friday when I got home.
That Friday on my way home, I was thinking in my head, well maybe by some miracle they had decided to send me money. I thought if I was super lucky they may have sent me as much as $100. But I still didn't see any amount, enough to afford Israel. I tried to quiet my hopes of trying to make Israel work. Immediately when I got home I checked the mail to make sure the letter had arrived so I could let her know it hadn't been lost in the mail. It was in...the safety of the letter was secured. I dropped my keys off on the counter and took the card to my room. I opened the card and inside was a note. Longer than this, the idea of the letter was that they had prayed about their finances and felt called to bless me.
What I saw inside was my dreams of going to Israel coming alive again - --Inside I saw... Israel. A "want" of mine was slowly becoming a reality and if it happened it was not by anything I had done, but was solely the blessing of God and this faithful family.
I didn't have to go to Israel, but God had placed a desire within me and then allowed me to pursue that dream. He then made my dream...my hopes - a reality. I rarely cry, but the moment I received that gift I was brought to (many) humble tears. Thinking that I, an imperfect person, would be blessed immensely by God and not just in a way that provided for my needs but in a way that provided for my "want".
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